Above are examples of typical set backs you may experience at work. Unfortunately, when we were in college getting prepared for the workforce, no one told us to be on the lookout for these experience nor did they tell us how to deal with them. In my career, I have dealt with many different types of setbacks and had to figure out ways to get through it in order to continue to perform with enthusiasm and avoid letting these set backs stifle me from moving forward in my career.
Disappointments at work are inevitable. The best way to deal with them is to know they will happen and to have a plan in place to get through the disappointments when it occurs. If you are experiencing a pattern of disappointments, it might be time to take your talents elsewhere, but if the situations are isolated, spend time taking stock of why you took the position and determine if your current company is still the right place for you to attain your goals.
Disappointments are inevitable, and how we cope with them is often a defining moment in our lives. How we respond to disappointment is often influenced by our upbringing; some people seek to avoid disappointment by underachieving (setting their expectations permanently low) while others seek to avoid it by overachieving (setting their expectations unattainably high). Regardless of which way we lean, we can learn to respond healthily to disappointment by adopting a coping style that seeks to understand what happened, checks whether our expectations were reasonable, reevaluates our perceptions and behaviors, and seeks positive solutions instead of dwelling on the past. Introspection can be helpful, but rumination is often not. Although disappointment is inevitable, being discouraged is always a choice.
Many people successfully work through their disappointments. Somehow, they have the strength to take stock of what has happened to them, learn from the incident, and move on. They come out of such disappointments stronger. But others, like Robert, struggle. In these cases, disappointment can even become depression. How can we learn to manage our disappointments effectively?
To constructively deal with disappointment, we need to first understand what has happened. Some instances of disappointment are predictable and preventable. But there are others that are unavoidable and beyond our control. To manage disappointment, we need to differentiate between situations that fall within our control and factors that are beyond it. Being able to recognize the difference will help us to deal with our frustrations more appropriately.
Disappointment is not meant to destroy us. If taken in stride, it can strengthen us and make us better. In spite of its devastating emotional impact, we may even consider encounters with disappointment as journeys toward greater insight and wisdom. But to be able to make these journeys of self-reflection and reevaluation meaningful, we need to look beneath the surface. Only by working through painful associations will we be free from them.
So, stop dwelling on your disappointments because dwelling on them does not change the person or situation. If you get so preoccupied with thinking about a situation that does not meet your needs, you are likely creating unnecessary stress. Thinking does not change a negative situation, but it will change how you feel, and not always for the better! When you catch yourself thinking negatively, redirect and focus on positive solutions.
-Find a positive role model. Sometimes it helps to look to others who have dealt with disappointment successfully for inspiration. Find someone whose career path you admire and see how they overcame setbacks.
Zack O'Malley Greenburg is senior editor of media & entertainment at Forbes and author of four books, including A-List Angels: How a Band of Actors, Artists and Athletes Hacked Silicon Valley and the Jay-Z biography Empire State of Mind. Zack's work has also appeared in the New York Times, Washington Post, Billboard, Sports Illustrated, Vibe, McSweeney's and the Library of Congress. In over a decade at Forbes, he has investigated topics from Wu-Tang Clan's secret album in Morocco to the return of tourism in post-conflict Sierra Leone to the earning power of Hip-Hop's Cash Kings, writing cover stories on subjects ranging from Richard Branson to Ashton Kutcher to Katy Perry. A former child actor, Zack played the title role in the film Lorenzo's Oil (1992) and arrived at Forbes in 2007 after graduating from Yale with an American Studies degree. For more, follow him on Twitter, Facebook, newsletter and via www.zogreenburg.com. Got a tip on a music, media & entertainment story? Send it over via SecureDrop. Instructions here: www.forbes.com/tips
MeiMei Fox is a New York Times bestselling author, coauthor and ghostwriter of over a dozen non-fiction books and thousands of articles for publications including Huffington Post, Self, Stanford magazine, and MindBodyGreen. She specializes in health, psychology, self-help and finding your life purpose. Fox graduated Phi Beta Kappa with honors and distinction from Stanford University with an MA and BA in psychology. She has worked as a life coach since 2009, assisting clients in developing careers that have meaning and impact. At present, she lives in Hawaii with her twin boys and the love of her life, husband Kiran Ramchandran. Follow @MeiMeiFox
I am a feminist and financial coach for women. I help women improve their relationship with money so they can take control of their financial future. I do this through one-on-one financial coaching, writing, podcasting, and speaking engagements and workshops. I founded Money Circle, which is a safe space for women to create community and talk about money without feeling judged. I also host a podcast of the same name. Passionate about many issues affecting women, I was trained as a salary negotiation facilitator by AAUW.
I'm an executive coach, author, and international speaker with a passion for helping professional women gain the visibility and credibility they need to have a fulfilling career. I work with high achieving women in corporate settings who want to move up and assume leadership positions I help them navigate the workplace politics and get the promotions they deserve.
Communication with loved ones about your disappointment can bring some much-needed clarity. When you get an outside perspective other than your own, you can begin to see things for what they really are, rather than how you feel about them.
The problem with emotions like disappointment is that they can completely derail our visions of ourselves. We can start to doubt our abilities and feel like an imposter. Our sense of self can become skewed when too many disappointments stack up.
Working with young adults starting their first jobs, I am often asked about disappointment at work. The expectation-reality gap of a new job can be an especially striking and confusing aspect of life in a fallen world.
Careers are full of wonderful moments of achievement and success, but even the best ones are riddled with everyday disappointments. Jobs fall through, good colleagues quit, bad colleagues succeed. When a colleague disappoints you, you can stew in the loss, letting it fester into self-loathing and bitterness, or you can confront the unpleasant emotions head-on. Learning to handle things not going your way with work is a lifelong lesson.
Shift your expectations Expectations play a central role in disappointment and the resulting stress. Evaluate what you expect from family and coworkers. Check to see if your expectations are fair and reasonable. If not, change your expectations.
Stop dwelling on your disappointments. Dwelling does not change the person or situation. Sometimes we get so preoccupied with thinking about a situation that does not meet our needs that we create unnecessary stress. Thinking does not change a negative situation, but it will change how you feel. When you catch yourself thinking negatively, redirect and focus on positive solutions.
But there are worse side effects than getting angry in order to cope with disappointment. Being disappointed can actually decrease our ability to resist cravings, which is especially dangerous for addicts. A big disappointment after a long period of not using can make it much harder for an addict to resist their cravings.
Greenberg also points out that research shows avoiding thinking about or dealing with problems tends to lead to even more problems in the long term. So facing your disappointment head-on may help to reduce its power and help you bounce back more quickly.
You can also think your way out of disappointment, to some degree. Research suggests adjusting your thoughts about the outcome to make it seem less disappointing can actually work quite well. Many of us do this subconsciously in order to avoid feelings of disappointment, but you can also try different ways of reframing the outcome consciously.
In more recent years, disappointment has become a common shared experience of people worldwide. From canceled graduation ceremonies, weddings to vacations, and other events, it seems as if no one can catch a break. However, rather than allow disappointment to get the best of us in the face of adversity, we must remain resilient. Therefore, if you want to learn more about constructively dealing with disappointing scenarios, keep reading.
What is disappointment?Before learning how to deal with disappointment effectively, we first need to understand what it is. Simply put, disappointment is an emotion that occurs when someone experiences unhappiness when their hopes and expectations go unfulfilled. Therefore, it is the sadness we experience from these instances that we define as being disappointing. 2b1af7f3a8